8 Weird Gifts I Hope I Never Get from My Husband

This always seemed so un-romantic to me. I love getting gifts from my husband and couldn’t understand why anyone would want to ruin the anticipation of getting a gift that way. But after watching a recent episode of Tori Spelling’s reality show “TrueTori,” in which Dean McDermott reveals that he has a tattoo of the word “Tori’s” right above his penis, I can see why some people want the security of buying their own gifts.

Call me old fashioned, but I don’t need a body-part tattoo as a gift.  A simple handbag or a pair of shoes will do. Here are eight more gifts I’d prefer never to get:

Vineyard 

David Beckham bought his wife Victoria a vineyard in Napa Valley, according to The Telegraph. And here’s my problem with it: I have enough housework to do, adding a vineyard to my list of things to take care of isn’t a gift.

Fast food franchise

Reports circling the UK, and picked up by The Huffington Post
, say that Kanye West bought Kim Kardashian a UK franchise of ten Burger King restaurants. But I don’t get it. I’m busy enough cooking for my husband and kids. I’d hate to have to cook for 10 restaurant’s worth of strangers, too.

Gold-encrusted wisdom tooth

Showbizspy.com reports that Scarlett Johansson had one of her wisdom teeth covered in gold as a gift for then-husband Ryan Reynolds. Um, gross?

Trip to space

Katy Perry gave her former husband Russell Brand a $200,000 trip to space, according to E! OnlinePersonally, I’d hate this gift because I barely have time for a mani/pedi. When am I supposed to find time for a trip to Jupiter?

$2 Million bathtub

Back in the day when boxer Mike Tyson was married to actress Robin Givens, The Huffington Post reported that he gave her a very lavish bathtub. Call me ungrateful, but unless it comes with a person to clean it, I’m not interested. Who wants to clean their own gift? Not me.

Breath mints

As a “fun” gift, US Magazine reports that Brad Pitt gave his lady love Eatwhatever Breath Mints because he likes to tease her that she has bad breath. This may be a cute joke, but breath mints are an insult — not a gift. Even when they come from Brad Pitt.

Strippers 

Scary Spice, aka Mel B., reportedly gave her husband six strippers for his birthday according to The Sun
. Please don’t get me this! I barely want to see myself naked. For my birthday, I certainly don’t want to see others naked, too.

Custom dodge ram truck

Long before JLo sent her dancer boyfriend Casper Smart packing, she gave him a custom truck, reports Yahoo. Okay, even putting aside my personal dislike of pick-up trucks I have to believe nothing screams, “We’re breaking up” like the gift of a truck big enough to put all your boxes in.

So the next time your husband gets you a dress that’s the wrong size or forgets to buy you a gift all together just remember it could have been worse. He could have tattooed his upper groin area or dipped his tooth in metal. Suddenly, a gift certificate doesn’t seem like such a bad gift after all!

What’s the worst gift you’ve ever received from your husband?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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