Losing a baby is a terrifying and emotionally draining experience for every mother. You are filled with sadness, grief, and confusion, making it extremely difficult for you to talk about it with anyone, especially with your kids. They were as excited as you to welcome a new family member. However, with the unfortunate miscarriage, breaking the news to your children gets extremely difficult. With July being Bereaved Parents Awareness Month, here are some tips on how to talk to your kids about miscarriage to make them better understand the loss and make the grieving process a little easier for your family.
Make sure you are ready to talk about the miscarriage
You might still be coming to terms with the sudden loss of your baby. That is why it is of utmost importance to take some time to grieve and process your thoughts and feelings before talking to your child about miscarriage. Talk to them about the loss when you feel somewhat calm and ready to tackle your little one’s questions.
It is essential to be emotionally available for your kids during this conversation and not be overcome by your emotions. While it’s okay for your child to see you grieve, it is crucial to be present for them as a pillar of support when sharing this heartbreaking news with them.
If possible, talk about the miscarriage in the presence of your partner so that you can support each other. Moreover, if you get too emotional, your partner can take over or vice versa.
Consider your child’s age before discussing the topic
Miscarriage is a sensitive topic for a child to comprehend. Hence, knowing how much your kid can understand and handle is vital. So, consider your kid’s age before talking about miscarriage.
For instance, if your child is more than a year old and was unaware of your pregnancy, you can choose not to talk about your miscarriage with them. However, kids tend to pick up on the emotions of adults and might know you are sad without knowing the reason behind it. In such situations, you can provide honest yet straightforward explanations that will bring them peace.
However, if your kids are preteens or teenagers and are well aware of your pregnancy, then you should be upfront and talk to them about your miscarriage in a way they can understand. Make sure to be present with your tween or teen when they grieve for the loss of their younger sibling. If they want, you can also do something together in the memory of their late sibling.
Make it clear that it is no one’s fault
Miscarriage can happen for many reasons which are not always in anyone’s control. This is something you need to explain to your kids. Sometimes, children tend to blame themselves for the loss of the baby, which can drain them emotionally. That is why it is essential to explain the reason behind the loss to help them understand that it was no one’s fault, especially theirs.
Telling them nothing could have been done at your end to prevent the miscarriage can soften the blow for your children. However, above all, let your kids know you love them with all your heart, and they complete your life. This assurance will help them heal slowly but surely.
Miscarriage is a deeply personal and sensitive experience, and talking to your children about it can be quite challenging. However, it is essential to approach the subject with understanding and sensitivity for the betterment of your kids. With these points in mind, you can make the grieving process easier for yourself and your little ones.
